I don’t know, but for some reason I always felt different. The other girls in my
class were all starting to go boy-crazy and I just didn’t get it. I dated a
little, kissing, getting felt up, but it never really seemed to be as interesting
as the other girls made it out to be. It wasn’t as if the boys weren’t
interested in me. I have dark red hair and a fair complexion. The boys all
considered me pretty, even though I thought my breasts were still too small and
my butt too big.
But still, I just never found boys all that interesting. I had guy friends, it
wasn’t like I didn’t like guys, but I just didn’t like them the way all my female
friends semed to. I started to worry that I might be gay. I knew that there
were a lot of people in my small town who disapproved of homosexuality. And I
was raised to think that it was wrong to like somebody your own gender, that way.
So when I started to find myself attracted to the other girls in my class, I got
very worried. I became depressed and moody and started to shut myself off from
my friends.
One day, after gym class, I was changing in the locker room and noticed Terry.
She was very tall, almost six foot. She had flowing dark brown hair halfway down
her arched back and a trim, athletic build. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her.
She had just started school here, she had moved in from Colorado. She was
lovely. At night, when I couldn’t control myself any longer, and started to
touch myself, it was her angelic face that was in my mind’s eye.
It didn’t take long for me to develop a giant crush on Terry. I was thinking
about her day and night. But I was so ashamed, I kept it to myself, withdrew
even further into myself. My parents made me see a psychiatrist and what few
friends I still had were very worried about me.
I started to feel more and more ashamed of myself. I caught myself staring at
the other girls in the locker room almost on a regular basis. And in the shower,
I’d watch them soaping up their bodies and rinsing themselves in the hot, steamy
water. There was a shower stall that was around a corner and you couldn’t see
into and I’d sneak off in there and put my fingers on my hot little pussy and
masturbate furiously and try to squelch my moans. I always tried to not get
caught. But I was worried that sooner or later, one of them would catch me.
Then, something happened. It was after shcool. It was two days until Christmas
vacation and things were slowing down. Most of the kids were vacationing with
their parents early and school was almost deserted. I went to get my stuff out
of my locker before leaving. When I opened it, a note fell out. I looked around
before I picked it up. I opened it and read what it said, “I saw you. I know.”
It felt like I had been hit in the stomach. I felt sick and ran to the girls
room to throw up. I tried to regain my composure, but every time I thought I was
just about calmed down again, I’d start to cry or shake. I was at least thankful
that I had the bathroom to myself. The next day, I faked sick so I wouldn’t have
to got to school and face it. Since my parents were at work and my sister and
brothers were all at school, I was alone in the house. I couldn’t make up my
mind if it was a good thing or not. I was alone, but that left me with no
distractions. I worried all day and then I started to cry again. I ran to my
room and put my face into my pillows to keep from beig heard should anybody come
home early. Who was it that had seen me? What would they do? They’d probably
get their friends together and beat me up. Or report me to the guidance
counselor, who’d probably tell my parents. They already had me going to
thearapy, they’d probably send me to a nuthouse if they knew I was looking at the
other girls in the showers.
All through Christmas vacation, I worried about it. I was a wreck and my parents
were loosing patience with me. They were not tolerent in any sense of the word.
They wanted me to straighten up and start acting like a normal sixteen-year-old.
And I could hardly get out of bed in the morning.
Finally, vacation ended and I had to go back to school. I went through the first
three classes constantly worried. I was a nervous wreck. I couldn’t pay
attention and got yelled at by two teachers, which made it even worse. I tried
to keep my eyes to myself, but eventually, I started looking around, to see if
anybody was looking at me. I knew in my head that they were all watching me,
the little dyke. They were all looking for some oppurtunity to do whatever it
was they were planning to do. But whenever I looked around, I didn’t see
…End of the part1. To be continued..
