Jan had started seeing Doctor Stevens only after getting tremendous
pressure from her best friend, Donna. Jan insisted that she really
didn’t have a problem that required the services of a psychiatrist,
but Donna insisted that she talk to Dr. Stevens, so she went. Jan
still believed that she didn’t need to go, but had been learning so
much about herself and her life that she went each week. Besides,
she really liked the Doctor, and could afford the visits, so why
not.
I should pause, here to tell you a little about Jan. She is Vice
President of Sales with a medium size electronics manufacturer in
the midwest. She is respected by everyone who deals with her as a
tough but fair executive who knows her business and manages people
very effectively. Her sales force calls her “The Iron Lady” but not
in her presence. It is obvious the first time you meet her that she
is a beautiful woman who could easily have become a top paid model
or actress but in her role as a business woman, she tones the
beauty down to “attractive” by her dress, demeanor and sparing use
of makeup. She wears very conservative business suits, doesn’t
smoke and drinks only a little wine on social occasions. Jan is
thirty-six, but most people believe she is only in her late
twenties. Those who know her a little better are aware of the fact
that she has been divorced for about three years from a man who
tried for five to deal with her strong personality but finally
admitted defeat and went to live with a woman almost ten years his
junior and seems to be ecstatically happy, now. Jan has seen three
men off and on, since her divorce but is “too busy” to think about
a long term relationship. Her only close female friend is Donna,
whom she has known since college and whom she trusts with her
deepest, darkest secrets. In fact, Donna is one of the few people
in the world who know about Jan’s “other life”, the one that
prompted her to insist that Jan talk with Dr. Stevens.
Six months ago, Jan was on a business trip to Boston when she met a
man in the hotel bar and found her self talking with him for hours.
Dan was unlike anyone she had ever known. From the first, she was
fascinated by his quiet manner and soft speech and the
contradiction represented by the “fire” she saw in his eyes. He
made no attempt to pick her up or hit on her. In fact, she was the
one who kept the conversation going and she began to realize that
she would have to say “goodnight” to this fascinating man and might
never see him again. That prospect made her sad and she resolved
not to let it happen. When it was time for her to return to her
room, she initiated an exchange of phone numbers and said she hoped
they could get together on her next trip to Boston. He smiled as
they parted and kissed her very softly on the cheek (somehow, she
had hoped for more).
The next trip was only two weeks later. She told herself that it
was important that she follow up with the new potential customer
right away but deep inside she knew that the Northeast Regional
Sales Manager was the best in the company and could easily handle
things at this early stage of negotiations. She had never before
arranged a business trip for personal reasons and refused to admit
to herself that she was doing so now. Dan picked her up at her
hotel and they talked of nothing in particular as he drove her to a
small French restaurant. Over dinner, she found herself drifting
away from the conversation several times as she tried to gain an
understanding of what she was seeing and feeling in his eyes. Over
coffee, she told him that she really didn’t want the lovely evening
to end (hoping he would take the hint). He said, “We could stop by
my place for a nightcap, if you like.” She had to restrain herself
from blurting out “Oh, Yes!” and said, demurely, “I think that
might be very nice.” Dan looked at her for several moments, then
took her hand gently into both of his. It was like an electric
shock and she only half heard him say, “But, there is something I
think you need to know…” When he knew that his words had reached
her brain, he continued, “I am a very strong willed man and I
require my lovers to place themselves completely under my control.
If you don’t feel comfortable with that, perhaps it would be better
if we had our nightcap at the bar in your hotel.”
Jan only partly understood the meaning of his words, but she knew,
without question, that she had to be alone with him and the sooner,
the better. Her mouth was dry as she nodded slightly and replied,
“I’d really prefer your place.” They talked a little as they drove
to his house but Jan’s mind was filled with questions. She really
didn’t know Dan very well and had surprised herself by saying she
would go with him. She had a strong sense that she could trust him
and needed desperately to be in his arms and feel his body pressing
against hers.
It was a fairly large, old house on a quiet residential street and
it was obviously well cared for. Even in the dark, she could see
that the lawn was well manicured and dotted with big, old oak
trees. He parked the car in the drive and came around to open her
door. He took her hand lightly as they walked up the front steps.
He unlocked the door and reached in to turn on the hall light
before allowing her to enter. When they were in, he closed and
relocked the door then, escorted her to a very modern looking great
room. It was clear that someone had remodeled the old house
extensively and the great room had probably once been a living room
and dining room. She turned and offered herself for the kiss that
she fully expected. He took her (so gently) into his arms and their
lips met. Almost immediately, their tongues were teasing each other
and she felt a great welling up of need and desire. Too soon, he
broke the kiss and stepped back slightly, holding her hands in his.
“As I told you,” he began, “I will expect you to do exactly as I
ask. If, at any time, you want to stop, you must say ‘That’s
enough’. When you say those words, our time together will be at an
end and I will take you back to your hotel. Do you understand?” She
was shaken by the stern tone of his voice and the seriousness of
his words, but she nodded. Jan was beginning to understand that she
was to be submissive to his wishes and she found herself both
frightened and excited by the situation. “After all”, she
reassured herself, “I can stop it any time I want.” It never
occurred to her that she would soon lack any desire for her time
with Dan to end.
“First, I want you to remove your pantyhose and panties.”, he
directed. She started to protest, but he held up his hand. There
was no mistaking the meaning of his gesture and she found herself
standing before him taking off her shoes, followed by her
undergarments as he had instructed. She looked around for someplace
to put the items she had just taken off but there was nothing
within reach so she just dropped them at her side. “Now, kneel down
and open my pants.”, he said quietly. Her skirt was short enough
that when she knelt, she could feel the soft carpet against her
knees, and she reached forward to loosten his belt and unzip his
fly. She was moving as if in a dream, now, and lowered his pants
and briefs to the floor. His semi-hard cock hung between his legs
and she was impressed with its size and shape and wanted to touch
it but wasn’t sure if she was supposed to wait for instructions, so
she did nothing. Dan kicked off his shoes, pulled his socks free
and pushed the pile of clothing aside with his foot. He removed the
rest of his clothes in silence as she knelt motionless before him.
When he was completely undressed, he said, “Show me how you suck
cock.” The words stung her. “Why does he have to be so direct?”,
she wondered and looked up into his eyes. He smiled and said,
“Remember, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
Using both hands, she guided the head of his penis between her lips
and began to lick it with her tongue. She was so aroused that she
could feel her juices beginning to leak from her vagina and run
down the inside of her thighs.
This is essentially the story she told Dr. Stevens on her second
visit. The first visit had been spent getting to know one another
a little and learning to feel comfortable in the doctor’s office.
The second time, Dr. Stevens had said, almost immediately, “Tell me
about why you decided to see me.” Jan really didn’t know how to
begin so she just started talking about how she had met Dan and
ended up becoming his “slave” and how “out of character” it was for
her to behave this way but she didn’t want to stop. Dr. Stevens
rested her chin on her fingers as she listened to Jan’s story and
when Jan had paused, reflecting on the scene she was describing,
the doctor asked, “How did you feel when he was in your mouth?” “I
wanted to taste his sperm.”, Jan blurted out, then said, “I’m.. I’m
sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” The doctor leaned forward to
touch her hand and said, “Of course you should. If that’s how you
felt. I need to know your feelings and I don’t want you to hold
back because you think you may shock me.”
After a short pause, Jan went on. “It was really weird. Dan is an
O.K. looking guy but not the type I would usually be attracted to.
But, when he told me, straight out, that he wanted me to suck him,
it was as though there was nothing else in the world I wanted more
than to make him come in my mouth. It only took a few minutes
before he tensed and I felt the fist spurts hit the roof of my
mouth and I had to start swallowing. He told me not to swallow but
just let it run out my mouth so I did as he said and I could feel
it running down my chin and neck. I’ve never really enjoyed the
taste and feel of sperm before, but I remember thinking how
beautiful it was at that moment.”
“When it was over, Dan told me to get down on my hands and knees
and I felt him lift my skirt all the way up and lay it on my back.
I felt very strange with my ass exposed like that but I couldn’t do
anything else. Besides, I felt a thrill like I’ve never known
before and wanted him to do whatever he wanted to me. I think I
knew he was going to use my ass, but I pretended that I didn’t know
what he intended and just waited, kneeling on the floor while he
went to a table and took something out of a drawer. In one way, I
dearly wanted to look to see what he was doing, but in a more
powerful way, I didn’t want to know. So, I stayed with my eyes
focused on the carpet before me as he returned and started applying
some kind of lubricant between my cheeks. He came around in front
of me and held out a vibrator that was very narrow at the end, but
gradually widened a little. About half way along it’s length, it
became much wider and stayed that width to its very large base. Dan
said, ‘This will help you become ready for me and I think you’ll
find it quite interesting on its own. Have you ever had a man in
your ass?’ I looked up at him and said (quite truthfully) ‘No.’
Then, he went behind me and I felt the tip of the vibrator nudge
against my anus. He turned it on very low and moved it around a
little before working just the end into my opening. As he held it
there, I was aware that my vagina was positively flowing and I
waited for more. He was so slow and gentle, that there was never
any pain as he moved the narrow end in and out in a kind of rhythm
and pushed more and more into me until he reached the place where
it bulged out wider. Dan put his hand on my back and said, ‘This
may hurt just a little, but it won’t last long.’ I tensed at his
words and he said, ‘No. You must remain relaxed.’ and he pushed
forward steadily as I felt myself stretching to accept the wider
part. There was a sharp pain as I opened farther than I would have
thought possible, but it started to disappear almost immediately as
I felt the whole vibrator sliding in to the depths of my bottom. He
turned up the speed and started fucking me with this devilish toy
as I grunted and groaned and found myself pushing back to meet each
thrust.”
“Suddenly, he pulled it out. I gasped and I felt him place the head
of his cock against my slightly open anus. He pressed forward
steadily until his stomach was resting against my cheeks and his
legs were tight against mine. I could feel him all the way up
inside me and I started to come. I kept coming as he fucked my ass
as deeply as he could until he finally came and slowly withdrew.”
Dr. Stevens was quiet for a while, then asked, “Jan, why do you
think you liked it?” “I think it’s because I’m always in control at
work”, Jan replied, “and I really don’t have a very exciting life
outside the office. I know I was searching for something before I
met Dan, and now I feel like I’ve found it. The other thing is that
it seems so ‘dirty’. I was raised in a very strict environment and
all through college and my career, I’ve worked hard at being very
serious and straight. I remember thinking, as Dan’s sperm was
dripping down my chin, ‘If my sales people could only see their
boss, now!’ It was really very exciting to think about but, of
course, I could never let anyone know I did anything like that (let
alone, loved it). It’s hard enough for a woman to be taken
seriously in the business world without having people think you’re
some kind of nymphomaniac or pervert.”
“Do you think you’re a nymphomaniac or pervert?”, Dr. Stevens
asked. Jan thought for a while, then replied, “I guess I don’t
know. In a way, what I let Dan do to, and with, me seems perverted
but when I’m with him, I just feel so free. That sounds funny,
doesn’t it? That I would feel so free when I’m being his slave? Dr.
Stevens was quiet for a few minutes, then said, softly, “Are you
going to keep seeing him?” Jan’s response was immediate. “I don’t
think I could stop. And, I don’t think I want to. Do you think I
should?” “I won’t tell you what to do”, the doctor answered, “but I
am a little concerned for your safety. Suppose Dan decides to go
too far and no one even knows you’re with him?” Jan said, “I really
don’t believe that will happen, but it’s a good point. Would it be
all right if I leave a message on your answering machine when I’m
going to see him, so at least you’ll know?” Dr. Stevens agreed, and
told Jan she wanted her to think through what she was doing and
why, so they could both understand it more fully. Jan said she
would.
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